“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
JK Rowling on the other F-word — “Fat”:
‘Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.
I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…
I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’
‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’
What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.
— J.K. Rowling
I am guilty of this sometimes. I am so used to saying someone looks great first then comments about other matters. I try not to mention about a person weight..I do when they comment. Some people expects a compliment that they have lost a lot of weight (or a little). I have to do better…
It is painful to know that your friend is facing a very sad event of her life and you cannot be near her….to console her. To just be around and lend a hand. To provide a shoulder to cry on.
Listening how my other friends describe how she is coping …I am extremely proud. She is strong.
My dear friend,
I cannot express how sad I am for your loss. I am beyond words. I could not imagine how you are feeling and how you are holding on and staying strong. Know that I am here for you though from afar.
Know that I am hugging you….praying that Allah will grant you peace and patience. You do not have to always stay strong….know that you are human.
Allah will take care of him. Allah will take care of you and your family.
Thinking about what happened yesterday between a young graduate desperate for job and I led me to ponder on my own maturity.
At 48 years old with 26 years of work experience, I shared many experiences with young people be it at work, family members or on social media. I believe in sharing experiences, lessons I learned, skills I acquire and mistakes I have done. I am very sure that I have reached a certain maturity in my career & life though I do feel I have so much more to experience and learn.
I am thankful for my current level of maturity. To be able to deal with various happening in the most appropriate way is not an easy feat. I am thankful that most of the time I am able to refrain from making a fool of myself. I am thankful there is social media for me to use as a punching bag for my frustrations.
It does not really matter whether you are 47 or 7 years old, we all have stories of friendship. The last few months have been a challenging, possibly mind-boggling friendship experience for me. It made me think about the value of friendship as I get older. I do believe that I have the same experience like most. But it does slightly bother me.
As I reach this age of physical change, kids leaving home and wondering where my career will lead me; I prefer a simple, straight forward uncomplicated friendship. As I thought over, I have been through a lot in my life. I want to be myself as much as I want to allow others to be themselves. I want to be respected as much as I respect others. Simple straightforward relationship.
It is imperative that friends understand that. If we are unable to accept the chips of a plate, then it is best to leave it. It could be valuable to someone else. Don’t break it to pieces just because you can’t stand the chip. For some, the chip is the most interesting feature. Parting ways would be the best. Remain as friends. Similar but not entirely the same.
I have one of the simplest non complicated good friends ever. I love her very much. I respect her a lot. I know she will be there for me when I most need her. We have chips, scars and injuries that we have accepted of one another. All those defines who we are and as time passes, chips become interesting, scars become reminders and injuries are healed.
I have a group of friends that I adore. They accept me for who I am – chips and all. In return I accept them for who they are – chips and all. We sometime discuss dirty dishes but hey…we have very strong soap.
I love you all….you know who you are.
Picture from http://sugru.com/blog/10-ways-to-refresh-vintage-finds-with-sugru (do be reminded friendship cannot be easily fixed using Sugru… 🙂 )
As I count the days towards my birthday, I reminisce the many wonderful birthdays I’ve had. I don’t remember celebrating birthdays when I was younger. I actually don’t have any birthday photos until I was in University. Sad but true. I guess that is why birthdays became so important as I grow older. As I started working, the birthday celebration was always small and simple. My staff will buy a cake, some give presents but the main thing is someone remembered.
After I got married, the birthday became just an extra celebration with my husband. He’s not someone who flaunts how much he loves me but I’d say the one and only time he did it, I cried. He gave me a huge bouquet of the most beautiful flowers. I was smiling ear to ear because it was so huge sitting on my desk and thousand of questions and congrats came when I had to carry it out from the office. I was on cloud nine. It took a lot for my husband to do that. I thank him for publicly making me felt really loved!!
Then there are the years with the kids. Birthday cards, hugs and kisses and artificial flowers. I have all the cards in my scrap book….treasures for my grandkids maybe.
In 2010, I had another great birthday. My staffs had an office birthday party and posted the video on You-Tube! You just feel awesome-ly loved!! I look like a foolish woman who never had a surprise birthday before!
I am definitely blessed.
I love being older….can’t wait for my birthday. Taking leave and chilling out with my family. I may just write a poem, who knows. Do I need presents? Nowadays I would appreciate an air hug, twitter ((hugs)) is wonderfully accepted and will receive physical hugs with happy tears & warm heart.
I still want the iPad but I don’t need it. Really….